The realization that something has shaken you to the very core of your being is awakening.
We've all heard the term "Earth Shattering" in realtion to traumatic events. No, the Earth didn't shatter when I lost my baby.
MY world shattered. The grief was so intense that I ceased to function. For the first time in my life, upon driving home with 2 children in my backseat screaming at me because they were hungry, for a fleeting moment, sending my van over the cliff I was driving up was a very real temptation. It scared me. I tuned into the screaming children and decided they needed me. This was just the day after the remains of the life I carried passed from my body. My emotions, grief and hormones were reeling. I felt like my body once again had failed me.
Last night a very dear friend discovered the life she carried had no heartbeat. Her world is shattering. It is a hard look back at what we've so recently been through, and discovering new feelings of wanting to shelter her as she goes through this heartache. She has had to walk this road before, and has been a comfort to me in my time of struggle. To be there to let me vent fears and frustrations as my body returns to a cycle that had the baby lived, I would not be having. I understand her pain, as she understands mine.